soy uniqua

hope i spelled that right. I have been discovering for myself the depth of the shame I have felt toward myself through this past lenten practice and Easter week. I feel less anticipatory tensions and more relaxed as though I have come through something difficult but in the end it lightens the burden. Because I have. It's been lovingly pointed out that I find my condition as an only child to be something that I refer to in negative or shaming language and understanding that to hear of the concept in spanish it eases some of the shame attached to being an only. soy uniqua. I am one of a kind. Sounds much better to my ears than what is implied or openly expressed by my very existence in this culture. It is still a pitiable condition in other places but at least it is held with kindness toward me. In Latin American cultures I am regarded sadly because I am childless as well as clearly past the age of child bearing but again they are usually a gentle people. But saying "I am one of a kind" in Spanish helps to heal the " You must have been spoiled or you must be spoiled" or some other derogatory remark. One of my personal favorites is " I don't want my child to be an only child that would be horrible for them etc etc..." knowing that I am an only. It was also pointed out to me that these remarks here in this culture could be envy driven. Much to think about as the journey continues. Next Up: Peru.