perry the bear

Perry, the presque isle brown bear, is moving about. Unhibernating, if you will. Perry's problem appears to be his environment. Nowhere to go but where he runs into people. Perry probably couldn't care less about us. We seem enthralled to have him in our midst. He just wants to get to where the woods are and they aren't where he currently is.
I can relate to Perry. When do the woods come into view.? Can I not be distracted by well meaning curiosity seekers and find my way to my safe place, cycle after cycle, season after season. How many more seasons are there and how do I spend them?? Been indulging in that thinking process for long enough now. The Art of EMDR conference in Canada broke through emotional ice burgs,opening up channels to access memories and heal myself. I am raw, vulnerable and jumpy and its marginally evident to those around me, including me! So much literal and emtional deaths, funerals and transformations of memories so hopefully lessening the impact on how I live my life now. Helps me stay in the present...Can go away soooo fast from the here and now.
It may not make alot of sense but I put myself through emotional and intellectual olympics to gain self understanding, self healing and then show the wanting the way.
Then immediately I'm tested: A former patient dies much too young, A childhood friend dies from cancer, (enduring lots of challenges and suffering along the way) euthanizing a companion cat and witnessing struggles that are very close to the core of my struggles. How do I want to spend the time left?
Like Perry, I hope to follow the seasons and not to wander where distractions could prove fatal.