it's a Wii world

Having scored one of the top gadgets around on the first try should be cause for celebration enough and fun it most certainly is. I remember being into Nintendo in the early 90's but did it cost this much?. I'm grateful to have the $$ to spend on such things.
Now for the return of the competitor in me! Its the next step to restoring some body coordination and fitness and kicking ass on the "tennis court"! There is a knack to the gadgetry so currently I suck at baseball but not for long. This stuff rocks.
Speaking of rocks... Neil Young and the reissue of "Live at Massey Hall". The music and DVD inspired me to dig out my vinyls, tune up my long dormant turn-table and rock on. Including the pops, hisses, skips and pure fun sounds of vinyl, it was amazing to watch myself set about doing some basic mechanics of the "stereo". I am fortunate to have a "stereo" that is turntable, 8track and cassette with cool flashing lights that can be set to different patterns. Vintage '70s and it all works. Jamming to an Ohio Players 8 track that still has legs. Beautiful weather, setting up for spring, laughing, shooting hoops (there is no Wii equal) and Wiing but not crossing the obessive line(?) all make for a grand weekend.

i am...i said.net

Timing being key I guess there is a reason I haven't written about this great new website, philosophy of life and great group of women before. iamisaid.net is nearing completion as a site for the empowerment of self. Goes along with "rid yourself of spirit crushers". The creative women behind this site are all on journies of personal growth which serve to inspire us all to keep going and evolving. I believe the whole concept will continue to grow and evolve. It has been interesting to anticipate.
I'd like to see "i am...i said...tenacious! I was once called that and it felt like fire inside.

Tenacity looked like Hillary Clinton tonite in the one news photo post debate. The 1st hour was actually interesting with all participants on their best behavior. There were the typical outlyers like the Former Senator from Alaska and the current govenor of New Mexico but Hillary looked like she belonged there. She was the first women ever to give the commencement speech at Yale, she can be the 1st women president. Hillary will continue to seek the approval of her father, approval she never received, and even though he is dead, her drive, power and brains to do what she has done with her life is fueled by this relationship. Her father did not go to her commencemnt speech and that says alot right there. I think that may be a large answer to "why does she stay with Bill"?. She has turned inital survival skills into a brillant life plan. She plays politics as well as the men so why not give her a try at the presidency. She was very close the first time. Otherwise, I'll watch Barak for a while and I can't help but think about Denny Crane every time I see Joe Biden!! Humor is oxygen in politics and life.

Wii World

"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine so that I may wet my brain and say something clever."-Aristophanes

To be out this late, laugh this much and bowl with the lebowski boys is such a treat. My introduction to this generation's version of video fun via Wii. Virtual reality athletics. My next goal is to seek out someone with a guitar program to play with. I do believe that after middle age its all down hill having fun again only the games and toys are way cooler.

The MG and the Harley are ready to roll for the season. A new bike for me perhaps? You just don't know how big this mid life this is gonna get!! ...

billy pilgrim & the flats

Alot of stuff rolling around in the 3 lbs attached to my shoulders. Kurt Vonnegut leaves us along with Billy Pilgrim and "Slaughterhouse Five". Along with Hunter Thompson he taught me alot about reading outside the bounds. SF is about his survival as a POW in Dresden Germany during WWII, Billy Pilgrim his alter ego. Along with "Zen and the Art of Motocycle Maintainence" a good start to an alternative reading list.

I also found out this weekend that The Flats in Cleveland are no more?! 1st, I don't get out much and 2nd its been along time since I wanted to go there, apparently!! Alcohol and water don't mix. How long did the party roll there.?

Chchchchchanges....
further signs that a civilization only falls from without after it has collapsed from within...vtech info tells us one thing. You really can't predict what people will do despite information and desperate attempts to intervene. Sounds like there will be the usual suspects such as finger pointing and closing the barn door once the horse is loose thinking but essentially this was one huge screw you to the US culture based on the origins of bullying. If anyone ever dreamed how out of control bullying would become they may never have dreamed of something like this but its how I see it. Driven insane from immigration and bullying. the guns are another matter altogether ...

Remember: it's 4:20 somewhere. Happy 420 Day.

oops...

"we don't know there's no problem" should be DUH! "we know there's a problem we just self medicate to numb." One way to shut down sensorily. Since I am back on this so soon (because I was dogged by the fact that something didn't sound right in my head so I had to check)what is this tragedy at VTech.? I believe I need more info but do I dare go to tv or stay in cyberspace or both. Its as if a situation in which EMDR will eventually be needed for the treatment of those involved presented itself immediately. So now what? Does stuff like this reinforce the fact that I will only be unemployed by my own choice or do I respond to this in some way. With this being a retraumitization it could trigger lots of responses. Somehow I am compelled to look where most sane people would run away. I am who I am in that regard. There are others out there as well, bearing witness to violence, hatred, biotry, judgement. There are gems in that minefield of ugliness and you become one of them in the process. I am preferring to help myself and others mine the richness of their fields and find the gems by sifting through the dirt.
Also as I think of this, it's April. Columbine time. The month of March reportedly has the highest rate of adolescent admissions for psychiatric care. And the perpettrators of these tragedies may not be necessarily, chronoogically an adolescent but they are emtionally and may even be younger emtionally than an adolescent but now with access to the power of an adult. Reflect back on other tragedies like this. What is the connection. ? Is there a connection.? Since my dear friend proposed this as another one of her brillant theories we see it in action here. And I suppose that this isn't so much a theory as a statistic or observation rate. no such thing as a coincidence...

motor city moments

Is it a desire to cure boredom or gain experience? I say hot damn about me completing the educational experience and putting into practice some phenomenal theories about how we process memories and experiences. I think my drive to just keep going and learning and experiencing satisfies both. And I am more ok with that then I can ever recall.
My dear friend/colleague and I went to the 'burbs of Detroit to "sharpen the saw",to conceptualize more about how this works. To also admittedly work on issues that hinder me.
After adjusting to the eerily empty hotel (did come to life later on Sat) we just spent time together learning and having fun as only we can.
I marvel at the sheer, simple technique of moving the eyes back and forth to engage both hemispheres. My dear friend's theory of the bottom up approach to regulating emotions, engaging logic and providing a map about how the brain experiences and stores our perceptions is pretty brilliant. Especially when the facilitator for the weekend quoted her theory!!
If emotions over events aren't processed then it runs amok in the brain train and becomes the engine without direction. If we spend too much time in the cars on the train (logical side, think left hemisphere for most people ) we don't know there's no direction, we just know we are going somewhere fast and that can be big problems. Then we eat, drink and be merry in the dining car and the engine still has no modulator (conductor) but we don't notice because we are too busy self- medicating (what works for you?) At some point in time we either jump the train (hopefully in a slower moment) and pay the consequences or we let it crash and pay the consequences of that too.
If the jumping or the crashing did not prove fatal then there is a chance to modify the engine and cars it carries. The modification comes through therapy, education, action...in short, change. We don't like change. Period. We are all the same on that one. Even those of us who seek frequent, different sources of mental and emotional stimuation have anxiety and move through it anyway. What different resources do we have that others could benefit from.? EMDR reprocessing could be one of them. It's not a quick fix but it can be very comprehensive. It's not hypnosis either. In fact, one the stumbling blocks for me after 22 years of this mission with myself and other people is that I can insert myself too much into the therapeutic issues. Not boundary problems, just run at the mouth problems, enthusiasm to share (resulting from my position in life as an only child?)Not mean spirited...EMDR contains the left brain logic crap we delude ourselves into thinking about ourselves until we start to peel away at the layers that have developed as a result of our own personal, private experiences of our lives, not what others have inserted along the way (trauma...challenging parenting...abuse) Peel away the layers, find out the original source and it may be waaaaay back and reprocess those issues. Reprocessing does not mean forgetting. It means giving the engine direction and modulation for its power and the ride becomes less painful and the events are just scenery going by. How is that for an explanation of the EMDR? I suppose I will modify this as I experience it myself.
Otherwise, too involved to really experience anything other than through 2 indie newspapers I found published in Detroit about Detroit. Pretty good local paper as they go and I try to find them wherever I go. They are usually located in coffee shops and bookstores. Anyway... the advertising or selling of people fascinates me so off I go to the personal ads and the entertainment ads. Lo and behold, this huge ad for " Pimps and 'Ho's" nightclub. I reflected on the '70's pump shoes and glitter and the language. I connected with the current situation with Imus. I agree with the fact they fired him. At some point, the "right" to free speech needs to be challenged by all of us who benefit from the "right" to free speech. CBS or whoever has a "right" as an employer to discipline a loose cannon. That's what Imus is. Now, what about places called "Pimps and "Ho's"?...
I feel as though I processed alot of blockage and that is contributing to the content and length of this post. The flotsam and jetsom have shifted and memories are more modulated. Not to say that the process doesn't continue. I believe the only people who don't process information are dead people. So....if you don't qualify for that, let's look at what we got. ...

can we "own" language?

The power of language has been my stock-in-trade for decades. Now it seems that the "property " or "ownership", if you will, is a major contender. I mean to say that WHO says it now is another interloper. I witnessed 2 seperate messages about this power just yesterday. I am intrigued by the Don Imus situation. I no little about him except to think that its his job to fire people up and he has a large audience in which to do so. So he says what he says and much more if you look up some of the other gems that have come out of his mouth, and this shitstorm follows. Then I watch something I seldom usually watch, Dateline. Some undercover stake out and a Latino and African American male were with the undercover cop dealing for some hot guns. At one point, the latino guy won't accept the undercovers low ball offer so the Latino guy say " I won't take that price, I paid 800 for the 'ho".
Now I realize that calling a firearm a 'ho vs a basketball team is a different kettle of fish but it gets me to wonderin' just like so much of life does. Does who you are combined with what you say make the stew tastier? Apparently so...Can we censor language? Should we censor anything? I think this exposes something a little twistier...Imus is old, angry, entitled and oh yeah, white. Rap and hip hop artists (and people on survellance tapes) use words to describe themselves or others then roar when outsiders attempt the same. Am I the only one a little confused here. ? When a parent hears their child say "shit" for the first time they have to look to see if they say it themselves. Be the change you want to see in the world. Don't like the epithets, stop using them then. We don't need to censor language (as proposed in New Hampshire)we should exercise discretion when speaking. Maybe we should enact a law that you have to wait 10 seconds before activating the brain and jaw.. ...

82 posts and 2 years later...

" The turth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer responses." --M. Scott Peck



This was given to me earlier in the week and traditional paper copies keep getting left behind, so off I blog. I am not sure I have much to add to the late Scott Peck's fine prose. Lent is over and the final 3 days lay ahead. My emotions mimic the inevitable relief I feel at the onset of spring, the cycle begins anew again. The cycles are never the same as the year before. The title reflects the origins of this missive. It was "Semana Santa", Holy Week Guatemala style. At this time 2 years ago my cousin and I steeped ourselves in this 3 act play. It blew apart any "traditional" sense of the celebration and encouraged me to experience more off the beaten track. Those entries are waaaay back in the beginning . I experience the ritual on the outside to comfort me based on childhood experiences but on the inside its semana santa style!! This duality is kinda fun but needs a close "parent" to supervise sometimes but mostly I just wanna play at what ever I do now. Its the closest thing to defining love I can come up with. Love of self , love of God's creation and teaching others what I have learned on my quirky journey, how to repair damage and love again, or for the first time.
I believe that is this year's lesson for me and this reflective season.
Peaceful Easter.

Gator Nation?

What fun the NCAA tournament was this year with all the twists and turns. I was immersed in Gator Nation for a week and every front page was devoted to something Gator. I learned alot more about this "bucolic" Southern town and the uniqueness of the University of Fla. What the University expects of themselves and the town associated with it. Its refreshing to note that not all athletics are linked solely to poor judgement or rushing through too fast and flaming out. These young men did neither. In fact, they succeeded by slowing down time for the last year. They looked poised and at times frustratingly out of sinc but always reaching for it as a team.
Gainesville is not given to putting up with too much. In fact, they suspended a sorority on campus till 2014 for serving alcohol to minors. Its a different college town.
Louisville, 2nd home for me, is hosting the Queen of England for the Derby this year.! Can't believe its almost that time again.
I noticed the smells that changed whenever we would enter a different section of the country. It was good to drive and whatever was pushing me to drive has relented somewhat but never really goes away. Next stop, Detroit...school awaits.