its always something

Plans for the next trip are almost in place. I really beleive that it is the one thing that keeps me plugging away here in the States. The desire to leave and come home, one huge metaphysical struggle.
Ultimately, Guatemala has come to represent an Eden like place for me with little to no responsibilities other than to be. With the increasingly sad state of the nation here and down there it feels like no place is truly safe. I refrain from bashing our government on this site but I am no fan of the present administration and I see it as a sinister place to be a part . The same thing is happening to the indigenous in Guatemala, sinister ruling class exploits the masses. Using the word "masses" conjures up by gone memories of communism but that's what is happening.
The new pope is not necessarily a beacon for reconcilliation and social change. So where are those beacons I long to see. Perhaps that is what part of my creation is to be---a beacon, somewhere somehow...

home for a week now

Wasn't sure what would become of this once I came home but here goes.
Landed last monday and left for erie on Tues. The fatigue sets in but more challenging is the mental battle I have every time I come home. It feels as though the 2 hemispheres of my brain argue about what is important to pay attention to and what isn't. The struggle is always with what is going on here in my gringa world. It takes longer each time I go away to actually come back.
The Pope's death right on the heels of this most magnificant Holy Week celebration has me more imersed than usual in religious politics and finding it facinating. The rituals tap into long ago memories of my childhood and education and I am finding them pleasant to reexperience, not anxiety provoking. I think I may be onto something here, or at least need to discuss this with my shrink!
Will see what happens as far as this site goes.
If anyone is willing to read then I believe Iwill be wanting to write.Up next, trip to Guatemala part II in July.