what's it all mean?

Nothing and Everything. It's the 4th of July and I am usually out of the country or have been at least 4 times since 2000. I'm trying to find a way to fit back in and it gets harder each time. I really want to stay somewhere that I would be illed suited for in the long run. I belong here with tales of far away places to tell people to live to their fullest. One of these past days just lounging after something accomplished, the movie "Out of Africa" was playing and I was immediately sucked in. It is one of my next dreams. How do all these worlds and messages make sense.? It helps alot to think both ways and by that I mean:"do we get the answers before the questions, at times, and are we trying to recognize the millions we must get each day and think both ways. Question and Answer at the same time. Lots to reflect on. I distinctly remember a rather anxiety filled day at the Lima airport on the day of departure, and every time I would try to feel sorry for myself, I would get a message somehow that mine was not the most challenging of situations, someone else's was. I was pushing a cart of luggage "upstream" against an arriving mob of people thinking how hard this was for me and just then a man in his early 30's went by me in a push wheel chair. Could have been a trauma or spina bifida but it made my situation nothing in comparison. the message was also delivered in a way I would see it. I worked for almost 15 years with people that had physical, emotional and spiritual losses. that man was my inspiratiion. those stories are too numerous to post in one sitting.
My motherboard on my computer where I can burn discs has crashed so I must be content with another computer with less than optimal software for my pictures and nothing for my video. Oh does that sound whiny and spoiled. a new motherboard will come along with the video. of course, the message is not to rush too much. I am liking the stills very much however.
Today is a day to spread my wings here as well. My husband and his baloon work has taken him to the Kahkwa Club later today with me as his assistant face painter. Pray for all involved.
have a very contemplative fourth of July